Archives: MachoTailDrop

Rankin Vs The ManWolfs

Rankin Vs The ManWolfs

What a night it was, what a race it was after and what documents of the whole event we now have. Check out Dirt #122 for a full feature of the night and the race. Here at last is Alex Rankins take what went down at the MachoTailDrop night in Sheffield. It was followed by the Ardcore Ardtails mates race to rinse away hangovers in the snow. What could have been a disaster, turned in to the making of the race as it became a competition for who could take the most snow balls to the face.

The idea for this mates’ race came from a conversation with Alex Rankin about a year ago, we were keen to work together but needed a format that would work for both of us. ‘Ardcore ‘Ardtails was born. The idea is simple, a test of as many aspects of a riders skill as possible in a single race. This took the form of a three parter: BMX track; Downhill and Uphill.

Taking advantage of the excellent track at Bolehills the first stage was to be a one lap, 4 Up, head to head time trial. Finishing position in your moto didn’t matter, it was your final time that would count. A test of your BMX skills; jumping and pumping. Second leg was a single run down the secret single track, BHDH. Again, it was you against the clock, your overall position was the only thing that counted. A test of your bike bike handling skills and bollocks. The final leg was a mass start uphill race back to Bolehills BMX track. Purely a test of fitness and tenacity, this wasn’t time, just finishing position. In an attempt to not bias any leg from the other points were awarded for each leg with 30 for the winner. With Alex on hand to film proceedings and be part of the MachoTailDrop madness the scene was set for another classic.

Sunday noon rolled around and I was trying to shake off a ManWolf sized hangover, I was also shitting it. Having walked each leg of the course, I was wondering if anyone would turn up and, those that did, would we really be able to race? Why? We had about 6 inches of fresh snow. This made Bolehills look almost unrideable and the uphill seem an impossibility. However, you can’t keep a man wolf down. By a bit after noon 16 bikes and riders had appeared on the start hill, most sporting similar ManWolf-Overs and many looking amazing still dressed as ManWolfs. After a few test laps of the track racing was on. It was slippy, drifty, sideways chaos but what could make better racing. Once the number boards were strapped on the first 4 lined up all doubts were cast aside, this was going to be Rad.

Photo: Duncan Philpott

As each four finished their lap the track became lined with hecklers. Hecklers quickly became snipers as the snow was balled up for ammunition. What better way to improve your position than take out your mate. It was great racing with mistakes being made all round and no mercy given. Dave Camus, Mallo, Alec and a few others were all clearing the first on the back straight. Which is more than can be said for John Alexander, who went down hard, Twice!, most amusingly on the last table top. Young Mallo (who had ridden an hour and a half to get to the race) was victorious, with Alec Hartley second and Vet, Rod Fountain, making a surprise 3rd.

We then all walked over to the start of the DH and the virgins took a walk down the 5 corners, not practise allowed. The snow had necessitated an amount of course rationalisation but not the fun. The sideways action was on from the start and those that could control the drifting rear faired well against the clock. Once again taking snowballs to the face was a key skill and Bowman proved most efficient at it, well he got the most practice at least. Some huge off the bikes and rousing cheers made this a stage to remember. Owen Elliott took the win with Chay Granby in second (although a review of the video evidence suggests that Chay cut the course in 2012), and Dave Camus third.

The Two Meter Penis (Photo: Duncan Philpott)

Spat out on to the road at the bottom of the track it was time for the final leg, the climb back to the start. With the Le Mans start arranged and a pre race snowball fight started it was to get the pedals turning. A balls out pedal along the road then a snow covered climb to separate the men from the boys Owen again reigned supreme. Martin Baker showed his fitness and took second with Chay gasping up the hill for third.

With a few prizes left over from the night before we actually had a good selection for the winners to choose from. As a Hardtail race, only those on hardtails were allowed to take home the goods. The left Owen with first choice and amazingly Rod with second. Who’d have thought the grey pubed old codger still had that much spunk left in him. Mallo was third which is a bit of a let down as he is literatlly half Rods again. Must try harder next time Mallo.

MachoTailDroped

Me and the 2m Penis

MachoTailDroped

I’m going to keep this post annoyingly brief and detailless as the full version will be featured in Dirt #122 with a shed loads amazing photos from the one and only Richard Baybutt. I just want to give a massive shout of thanks to everyone that turned up to take part, all 60 of you, and everyone that helped to make it happen. Specifically, Ruari Hallam, Duncan Philpott, Dave Camus, Richard Baybutt and Joe the Bowman. Also The Bike Garage, Edinburgh Bike Company, 18 bikes, Dirt, Steve Peat, Shore Lines,  JE James Cycles and Brant Richards. Most of all to Alex Craig for letting us show his Slice of Surrealness in the first place.

The Snowy Lantern Theatre (Photo: Noel Hines)

In short, with a lot of help I put together a night of surreal entertainments to while away the winter blues. The line up included the trailer for Peatys New Movie ‘Don’t Back Down’, a video clip contest, an electronic bike quiz, a ManWolf Fancy Dress Contest, GhettoPaloza and the premiere of MachoTailDrop.

Each element on its own work brilliantly but presented in the BackDrop of the incredible Lantern Theatre, with a liberal spreading of booze and a sprinkle of TiS magic, the whole night was out of this world. Beset with problems due to a deluge of snow, late comers were welcomed in but their confused looks took a while longer to dissipate.

The Scene inside the Lantern (Photo: Noel Hines)

The video clip contest was voted for by the Loudest Jeer and won by Deathface (John Alexander) and the 2 metre Penis (Denis Cummings). They took home Enduro Goodies very kindly donated by Si Bowns at 18 Bikes. 2nd place was Rich Baybutt with another ManWolf themed classic who walked away with a Chromag beanie and Tee gifted by John at Shorelines. 3rd place on the night was Dave Camus with his clip of him sending an almighty booter on a hardtail. He took home a Kaboom Cleaning kit Courtacy of JE James’. Many thanks to everyone that offered up prizes for the night, it made it such a special occasion.

The winning Entry for the Film contest. Sax Wolf!.

The ManWolf Off, or fancy dress contest, was again voted by the public and their voices. The 2 metre Penis was again victorious and deservedly so. His interpretation of ‘The Boss’ was near perfect if not stretched a little vertically. He took home a copy of Steve Peat’s World championship book and a crate of Stella courtesy of the big man himself.

Me and the winning 2m Penis

Drinking the bar dry, Man Wolf style (Photo: Duncan Philpott)

The Bike Quiz was 30 very tricky questions collated by the TiS team. It was won by the unlikely match of the ThisiStockyB boys, Craig and James, with Steve Hardcastle. Who’d have thought it. They were the clear winners with 23 points and took home a 12 month subscription to Dirt plus several Dirt Tees, thanks to Mike Rose. Well done lads.

GhettoPalloza in Full flight, Baybutt vs BarDrag (Photo: Noel Hines)

The last competition of the evening was by far the most arduous for the contestants. GhettoPalloza. Dreamed up to be the mountain bike equivalent of Rollapaluza it was two turbo trainers side by side hooked up to a custom computer program. The turbos were set to ‘Ard and it destroyed many a good rider. The winner, after a protracted battle was Joe Bowman who beat James Crossland in the final. Joe walked away with the star prize which was a brand new bike servicing stand from Edinburgh Bike Company in Sheffield. James won a full set of RaceFace body armour courtesy of James Irwin at the Bike Garage in Bamford.

Video Footage of the final of GhettoPalooza, Bowman Vs Crossland (Video: John Paul Jones III)

The final gift of the night came from Brant Richards of On-One fame. He liked what we had planned so much and was so gutted that he couldn’t be there himself, that he bought everyone a pint out of his own pocket. Can’t thank you enough Brant, you’re a legend!

All the Man Wolfs! (Photo: Duncan Philpott)

The night finished as this post will, with MachoTailDrop. More details of that in Dirt #122.

It was a night to remember and never forget… the first of many we hope.

Nick

MachoTailDrop

MachoTailDrop

To wipe away the winter Blues ThisiSheffield are putting on a Saturday night of entertainments at the Lantern Theatre in Nether Edge. Tickets are £4 and are available here.

This will include:

  • Film Première
  • Best Bike Video Clip Contest
  • Ghetto-Pallooza
  • Bike Quiz
  • Fancy Dress Contest

Let me try and explain….

MachoTailDrop

A cross between Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Enter the Dragon, Dogtown, RAD and Sprung (on four wheels) this is a must see movie. A few weeks ago JoeBo showed me a video for a pair of shoes he desperately wanted… a 5:10 rep wanting a pair of shoes?? This had to be good… this was the video he showed me…

A week later I was speaking to Rich Baybutt, he said “Have you heard of MachoTailDrop?”… he showed me the following trailer and proceeded to talk me through how he’s searched all over the interweb for it but couldn’t find the DVD anywhere. “Pah” I thought… I’ll show him. However, it was true, there was no way we could actually get to see this slice of Surreality.

Probing down a bit further I found the guys that made it and, on the off chance, sent them an email and low and behold… They’ve posted over a Blu-Ray for us to show! This will be the finale to out evenings entertainment. If you want to know more about the film and try to figure out what the hell its about check out this, this, this and this and have a good read of this

Film Clip Contest

ENTRIES CLOSE MIDNIGHT FRIDAY 3RD FEB

On the night we will be getting the audience to judge the best clip contest. This is a competition that anyone can enter, you just need to send in a link to your clip and tell us why you think its Rad. We have 3 categories with a prize for each and a maximum clip length of 30 seconds. Its not an edit contest, just clips.

  • Funniest #lol
  • Best Crash #ooo
  • Raddest Trick #rad

You can send us your link in 2 ways:

The prize will be given to the owner of the clip, so don’t send in other peoples work unless you want them to get the prize.

GhettoPalooza

You may well have seen or even had a go on Rollapaluza and know how much of a laugh it is and how hard it it. However, we’re going to be running our own mountain bike version which will involve a head to head dual race on a turbo trainer with a beer to quench your thirst at the end. Entry will be on the night and the competition will be a knockout format.

Bike Quiz

Working in teams everyone will compete over a series of rounds including picture, video and music questions testing your knowledge of the biking world and beyond.

The Lantern Theatre

The Theatre itself is amazing, if you haven’t been there yourself you should take this opportunity. Built by a Victorian Gentleman to host his own private theatre productions to entertain his friends, this is a full featured theatre miniaturised. The theatre is here just off Psalter Lane. Check out these pictures of it. Most importantly it has a well stocked bar which we will aim to drink dry over the course of the evening.

Tickets

Buy your tickets through the Paypal link below, we wont be issuing tickets but your name will be on the Door on the night.

Fancy Dress Contest

The best dressed ManWolf of the night will receive a great prize… What is a ManWolf? If you’ve watched the above trailers you’ve probably got a good idea. But here’s some more inspiration.

Download these to make your own jacket.

Rich Baybutt dreamed up this corker of what happens when JoBo straps on his Man Wolf Shoes

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